Thursday, January 19, 2012

criss nierangel - MINDFREEAK

chris negrotaco is to skateboard journalism what Puff Daddy is to hip hop, rick howard is to skateboarding and Welcome To Hell was to skateboard videos.

i.e. he is the thing that ruined it.

To thank cris for this we hit him up via electronic mail and asked him a few questions. The following answers are exactly as we received them. We can only assume that ol' chrissy likes the whacky grammar, so who are we to fuck with that?

Hello my name is chris nearakoh

1/ Hello chris, obviously you ruined the only good skateboard magazine there has ever been (no, not Strength) but we cant remember if Big Brother got worse instantly when you started there or if it took you a few months to turn it to shit?

Like any good American, i blame someone else. Our photo staff was shackled to the 90s and refused to shoot the next generation of dudes. I always believe that had we made Reda photo editor sooner it would have extended BB's life because he has always shot the dudes kids want to see. Shit, our last issue had a Gino cover. BUt if you blame me, that's fine as well.

2/ This is more of a request than a question but could you please not tell any of your working at Big Brother whilst addicted to girly drugs and selling porn videos stories here. They are quite boring and almost certainly made up. Thanks man.

Noted. And the answer is 7.

3/ You've recently worked for Vice and ESPN, do you look for shit companies to work for or does your reputation bring them to your door? Or do you work for them because you are lazy and they are so terrible they can't be ruined, saving you the effort.

These might be the best questions i've ever been given, thanks for at least making this interesting. I still work for Vice & Espn. As for Vice, i have always had a soft spot in my heart for Canadians so i give them my assistance in not sucking so much. As for ESPn, i like the timeliness of the stories coming out as news breaks, unlike endemic skate sites that just repost press releases. Granted, I can't ask the fun questions i ask in King Shit but i still enjoy it. And HST worked for them for years and i'm a fan of his.

4/ You're a total whore and you have been for a while so you should at least have some money, why is your house so shit?

My house is brick, not shit. BUt it is very tiny. Every room is like that shrinking hallway in the good/original Willy WOnka. Aside from the house i have nothing to show for my work; my spawn have eaten it all.

5/ You used to pretend you hated everything and now you pretend to like everything. What made up persona do you think you will adopt next?

I'm easing into my confused old man phase, that doesnt hear so well and speaks louder then needed. I like it. Or at least i think i do.

Cheers for that, chris - you have been fucking terrible. 

mwah, xox

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