Tuesday, February 7, 2012

menace beach

One of the best skate spots ever has gone, just tiny gaps, low ledges, smoothish ground and more importantly nothing to wallie, wall ride, pivot fakie or otherwise get cre-gay-tive on.

And the place where the best and most important line ever committed to hi-8 was filmed in the only video part where the skater had the good sense to wear nothing but white tshirts throughout.

gino switch flipping that tiny square of sand to MZA changed skating more than the whole of questionable, danny way landing the first 900 or the invention of the ollie.

Before this, it was also the place where natas was busy making skating good while the autistic mongol that stole the credit for it was poncing around on some walls in new york wearing vision street wear shorts.
And now the sand gaps have been ruined, gino has ruined himself and we're still pathetically waiting for skating to get good again.

Then again it was the place where this shit was filmed and rumour has it this cunt is filming again, if the gaps were still around he'd probably feeble the sand or some shit.

Fuck you ricky

r.i.p sand gaps.

Jesus, shut the FUCK up

you are all over thirty. and fucking rubbish.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

criss nierangel - MINDFREEAK

chris negrotaco is to skateboard journalism what Puff Daddy is to hip hop, rick howard is to skateboarding and Welcome To Hell was to skateboard videos.

i.e. he is the thing that ruined it.

To thank cris for this we hit him up via electronic mail and asked him a few questions. The following answers are exactly as we received them. We can only assume that ol' chrissy likes the whacky grammar, so who are we to fuck with that?

Hello my name is chris nearakoh

1/ Hello chris, obviously you ruined the only good skateboard magazine there has ever been (no, not Strength) but we cant remember if Big Brother got worse instantly when you started there or if it took you a few months to turn it to shit?

Like any good American, i blame someone else. Our photo staff was shackled to the 90s and refused to shoot the next generation of dudes. I always believe that had we made Reda photo editor sooner it would have extended BB's life because he has always shot the dudes kids want to see. Shit, our last issue had a Gino cover. BUt if you blame me, that's fine as well.

2/ This is more of a request than a question but could you please not tell any of your working at Big Brother whilst addicted to girly drugs and selling porn videos stories here. They are quite boring and almost certainly made up. Thanks man.

Noted. And the answer is 7.

3/ You've recently worked for Vice and ESPN, do you look for shit companies to work for or does your reputation bring them to your door? Or do you work for them because you are lazy and they are so terrible they can't be ruined, saving you the effort.

These might be the best questions i've ever been given, thanks for at least making this interesting. I still work for Vice & Espn. As for Vice, i have always had a soft spot in my heart for Canadians so i give them my assistance in not sucking so much. As for ESPn, i like the timeliness of the stories coming out as news breaks, unlike endemic skate sites that just repost press releases. Granted, I can't ask the fun questions i ask in King Shit but i still enjoy it. And HST worked for them for years and i'm a fan of his.

4/ You're a total whore and you have been for a while so you should at least have some money, why is your house so shit?

My house is brick, not shit. BUt it is very tiny. Every room is like that shrinking hallway in the good/original Willy WOnka. Aside from the house i have nothing to show for my work; my spawn have eaten it all.

5/ You used to pretend you hated everything and now you pretend to like everything. What made up persona do you think you will adopt next?

I'm easing into my confused old man phase, that doesnt hear so well and speaks louder then needed. I like it. Or at least i think i do.

Cheers for that, chris - you have been fucking terrible. 

mwah, xox

Monday, January 16, 2012


Sure, dylan reider is about as gorge' a skater as you're going to see right now, his devastating profile (from EITHER SIDE) and those flirty little glimpses of ankle he manages to squeeze into every video part are driving all the boys totally wild at the moment.

However as a skater he sucks even bigger dick than he will in his future career as a prescription pain killer addicted twink gay porn star.

rodney was doing bigger impo’s than this in the late eighties.. and with a way more butch haircut too.

 And then he realised they were fucking shit ugly and stopped doing them (and started doing even uglier shit but that’s neither here nor there).

Sunday, January 15, 2012


The highlight of the always faintly disappointing Epicly Laterd (a show seemingly designed to make anything good in skateboarding more bland, more boring and therefore more palatable to insipid morrisey loving faggots like the insipid morrisey loving faggot that makes it) recent menace episodes was clearly the look of disgust on eric pupecki's face when he talked about caine gayle getting on menace.

As recent looks of disgust go it was second only to the look of disgust on my face when I recently read natas out himself by simpering about liberating vintage ‘frames” and coquettishly giggling for a bike photographer whilst slinging his head backwards on a bridge.


Obviously a proud black man like Pupecki would be appalled when a skater so white they nearly out whited the whitest skater ever (jason maxwell) in the whitest video section ever (prime in 20 shot) from the whitest team in the history of skateboarding (91-96, anything outside of those years doesn’t really count as skateboarding) got onto his team.

caine getting on mnc was like hitler strolling into the Lockwood branch of Zulu Rasta Chicken, asking all the woman in there why their hair smells so bad, grabbing a salad and then benihana'ing off of a table where Fabians cousins are having a birthday party on his way out.

E.g. It was pretty fucking insulting.

I'd happily talk more shit about caine gayle here but I barely remember the prick and I'm not going to get all Chromeball and go through old issues of poweredge or some shit just so I can read an old checkout.

I do recall that in every interview with him I ever read he went on about loving to fuck girls just a bit too much on a I'm really gay, tom cruise on oprahs couch kind of vibe.
And he had mad big bum style.
Surely everyone knows
gayle is a cunt anyway.

Anyway I was all unnecessarily re-enraged about this on pupecki's behalf for about an hour after watching this.

Then I found out that eric played a key role in blowing up obey in it's early days and therefore making stupid kids heads look even more fucking stupid and annoying than they used to.

O-gay more like.

And he's got a fixie (or a bike anyway, same difference) so fuck him too. 

Welcome to the blog, pricks.